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Why Does the Husband Not Want to Sleep With Wife

Why does the husband not want to sleep with wife: reasons, tips psychologist

There were times when there were jokes among men about the eternal “headache” of the partner when trying to offer her sex. In addition, it was believed that women need family status and children, and they do not get pleasure from sex. A decent man would occasionally torment his wife with his caresses for the sake of having heirs, and the rest he got from girls of easy virtue. What was it, in terms of intimacy, behind the oak doors of palaces, Victorian window curtains and simple peasant cottages – not conducted surveys.

First, the topic was obscene; second, sociology had not yet been invented. In any case, the initiator of sexual relations was a man. And the idea of women’s initiative in this sphere was simply unacceptable.

But those blissful times for men are irrevocably gone. At the beginning of the 20th century, Mr. Freud promulgated the existence of the female orgasm. A little later ubiquitous anthropologists, supported by famous travelers, proved that the fact of the latter’s existence was unknown only to Europeans, while in the East and in Asia it had been embedded in the context of erotic culture since ancient times.

For about half a century Europe and America digested the discovery. Then World War II broke out, and there was no time to waste. Then came the sexual revolution and the era of total female erotic enlightenment.

Now the stronger sex had a new demand. Its symbol is the wife in the negligee, in the inviting pose, demanding from her hero “a bag of pleasures every night.” And what about the man? And he, the bastard, ignores the new negligee. He comes home from work, has dinner, and falls asleep. The spunky lady is sobbing in the kitchen. In her head, she wonders why he doesn’t want it. Both today and yesterday…

And the beauty’s head is filled with trivial thoughts:

  • He has a mistress at work;
  • He has a mistress on the side;
  • He’s wallowing in debauchery, and his mistresses are everywhere;
  • He’s fallen out of love with me;
  • I’m ugly and fat, I need a plastic surgeon and liposuction;
  • He’s a budding impotent man.

All options are equally horrible, but ignorance is worse than knowledge. And in the morning she begins to ask with grim persistence what is wrong, throwing tantrums, forgiving him his sins and begging him not to break off the relationship. He desperately tries to explain the reasons for his lack of desire, but, alas, no one believes his excuses. And already in his head there is the thought: “There’s something wrong with me. Ideal victim for self-serving psychologist!


Why the husband does not want his wife. A here’s the thing. Hispanics and other hot macho men may indulge in passion five times a day. But their job is mostly lying under a palm tree. And the average man in Europe, 30-45 years old have intimate relations a little more than a couple of times a week.

And that’s normal. Even once a week is normal. They can do more. But why? Men of this age have a stable intimate life, and energy is spent on career, work, playing the stock market, hobbies. Besides, Russia is a country with a temperate and cold climate. Southern passion (as well as southern impulsiveness, super-emotionality, violent gesticulation) is not peculiar to our men. There are exceptions, but they, rather, confirm the rule.

An outburst of passion may well happen on vacation, but for a mature man who can and loves to work the head, to spend a few hours a day on sex is just pathetic, even if it is sex with the woman he loves.

And why a few hours? Because a real man doesn’t have to quickly possess his lady and then snore against the wall. He approaches sex creatively. And the creative approach, even three times a day takes too much time.

Why doesn’t the husband want to sleep with wife:

He’s trivial tired

Ten or more hours of decision-making a day. Huge responsibilities. Challenging tasks. Daily interactions. He comes home devastated. And here all he needs for the week is peace. There are some beautiful ethnic traditions “in theme.” For example, English men in the era of Queen Victoria would come home from work, have dinner, then read the newspaper. And there was perfect silence at home. The children are in the nursery. The wife was near, but silent: the father of the family was resting. And the Jewish tradition of Shabbat includes a rule: on Saturday night, the spouse is sure to possess his wife. Nothing is reasonably said about the other days of the week. And such traditions come about for a reason.

Sex has become routine

For many years there is not a single fresh note in it: the same faces, the same positions, the same place. It’s just boring. There are more interesting things to do.

Perhaps the wife has grown fat. It’s interesting that if a man gets fat (up to and including obesity), he still thinks he’s pretty damn attractive. And if the wife gets fat, about 40 percent of men are disappointed in her as a partner. Here we should also mention the lack of care for women and their lack of beautiful, emphasizing the advantages of the figure underwear. The world in general is harsher on women. Even if the spouse is as slender as a reed, it is not uncommon for her to prefer a younger copy. Just at the age of about forty a part of men make a plan to replace the life partner.
He’s more into watching porn movies. That’s the kind of dreamer he is (especially if his exotic fantasies his partner is unable to satisfy).

He really has a waning potency

Do not be alarmed by this phrase. It does not mean an inability to have sex, but less need for it. The very ability to have sex sometimes lasts into old age.
The house is no longer his fortress, but a place where he is criticized, billed, criticized for any achievement. And if the bed also becomes a springboard for scandal, then sex is firmly associated with it.

He lacks tenderness

He – a man and maybe take the initiative himself. But when he is asked to do his duty immediately, the attraction fades away, along with the remnants of romanticism.
He’s sick. What else can I say?


Husband does not want to sleep with wife. Reality is that the strength of female attraction increases by 30-35 years, when men’s needs in sex decrease. The worst thing a woman can do is throw reproaches. This will only breed mutual aversion. Intimacy difficulties are one of the situations in which partners begin to reap dividends from the capital of trust invested in the relationship. Maybe the cause of the turmoil is easily remedied. Maybe he needs help. There may be many individual nuances. Either way, the problem is solved between the two of them.

If sex happens only once a week or even twice a week, then let him be unforgettable, an extravaganza of passion or ocean of tenderness. The bed is not a place for recriminations and sorting things out! There is another charming tradition: if partners quarrel – make up before bedtime together. And sleep together always.

And also… Why not try, instead of complaining, to start telling him compliments? How big and handsome he is. How amazingly smart he is. With beautiful eyes, a stately figure (or cute tummy). With skilled, manly hands. He’s so sexy, it’s impossible to resist. You can also remember the Chinese tradition and say compliments not only to him, but also to his such a significant addition. After all, he too is both beautiful and strong and able and statuesque.

We should not forget that God invented labor and Satan invented idleness. Could it be that the one who makes too many claims is just bored?

And, trite as it may sound, you need to spend more time socializing. Depressed women are known to have a dramatically increased need for sex. After all, sexual intercourse is strong evidence of her demand. In fact, it requires not sex, but attention, care. Massage, conversation, a night out with a glass of wine … The development of harmony, a sense of unity with your loved one can bring more happiness than the best orgasm. Because happiness is lasting, but an orgasm is brief.

Read also: How to Know If Guy Is Cheating on You