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Wife Avoids Sex for Several Years

Good day to all. It’s story by my friend:

Please take as seriously as possible and help with advice as soon as possible, thank you in advance about wife avoids sex!


The background

My wife (civilian) and I have known each other for 6.5 years, we have been living together for 6 years. We have a 5-year-old daughter. Everything started out as lovers: not in the sense that the husbands / wives run away from the left, but just met 1-2 times a week, mostly in bed, and had a great time. The sex was great. After 8 months of this relationship she told me she was pregnant. We had passion, feelings for each other and decided we were going to live together and raise the baby. We got to know each other’s parents, shared a life together, everything was good. We didn’t have a wedding, we didn’t see the need for it. Then the child was born.


Five years passed since the child was born. My wife took a job of her own volition (my job is within walking distance of my home + my supervisory position and a subordinate person – I do not get tired there). The child is already going to kindergarten + pay for a babysitter, to the circle brought when my wife can not + a bunch of grandparents, aunts, uncles, who often take a child – on weekends, on summer / winter vacations, etc.. I myself work from morning till night, I receive additional education, I have no bad habits, I like girls, I do not beat my wife, I do not offend.
The needs of anything is not: the apartment, car, appliances, all is. I go abroad 2 times a year (not Turkey and Egypt), regular trips to cafes, restaurants, and cinema.

I also have the main part of my body

And everything would be OK, if not for one big

BUT: the absence of sex. No, of course he is, 1-2 times a month. On my initiative. After 10-15 refusals and excuses: “My head hurts”, “I have to get up early”, “I’m tired”, “Let’s do it tomorrow” etc. It all started a little later, after giving birth. I mean, even during the pregnancy she wanted me. Even right after the birth we were doing something, and it was obvious that she wanted to do it a little. But then it just stopped. At first once or twice a week. Then once a week quickly. And then once a month for 15 minutes was the norm.

And so – for 5 (!) years!

You could say she was tired, but there’s no reason to: the child is not a baby, goes to kindergarten, is always picking up relatives, now her parents took her to another city for the winter holidays. For the last month, including New Year’s holidays, weekends and vacations, we had 21 (!) days off. And during this month we had sex once. My wife didn’t take care of the baby (he’s at her parents’ house), didn’t work, didn’t iron my shirts from morning till night. There was a perfect rest period – but we had nothing but a ridiculous 15 minutes with her sour face on her face.
One would have thought there was a lover. But her, Like the palm of her hand all day, less than a percent chance. And when we’re on vacation for two weeks together, with each other, any healthy girl would want sex, and either go off to her lover, or at least have a fling with her husband. But no…
You’d think she’d be blown away and forget that she’s a girl – but she’s not either! She takes care of herself, wears creams, makeup, clothes, etc.

My attempts to fix the situation, or what I did:

  1. Small talk. Any conversation about “Honey, what’s going on in bed” (well, I’m simplifying it) runs into a harsh response from her side, “we’re fine!”, “do not like it – go away!”, “do not like it – find another!”, “you only think about sex and!” and other nonsense. In a harsh and short form. The conversation does not come out as such.
  2. Romance. I tried it a hundred times when we gave it away: hotel, candlelight dinner, music that we used to play all night long, and different roofies, and so on and so forth. “Why do we need candles?”, “Turn off the music,” that’s her reaction to any romance… Sex, as a rule, did not come to that.
  3. Taking her on vacation without a child, several times. Both to the sea and to romantic Italy. Sex was 1 time per vacation, in the best case. And again, it was sex at my initiative, after 150 refusals, and with her absolutely passive participation.
  4. Force through jealousy: and corporate party went to 2-3 days, and communicate, meet secretly a few times (after several years of such a life) with others, clearly hid his phone from her, etc. – well, at most not jealousy, and jokes like “Well, burned with the girls at corporate parties?”, “Who corresponded with the girls?
  5. Leave. In the summer we ended up fighting over all this, I packed all my stuff (clothes) and said I was leaving. In the morning I got dressed and started taking everything out of the apartment and found her crying and hugging me and begging me to stay. I couldn’t bear it (and didn’t expect it) – I stayed. I did not take apart my suitcases for a week – they were on display. Thought something would change – NOTHING.
  6. Weasels. Tried to approach it from afar, touching for a few hours (we sit, watch movies, I caress her, kiss her, then massage her feet, etc.), to sex, as a rule, did not come. Moreover, THEN, she does not allow herself, not to mention caressing, touching! She says, “Don’t”, or “I feel sick”, or “It hurts”. Bullshit!


Well, here in a nutshell, my story. I did not embellish it a bit, I was serious about packing up and leaving in the next weekend.
Actually, please help, advice, answers, etc., the main questions are as follows:

What is it with her?

Five years, not the slightest desire, strange excuses. Previously, everything started with sex, which is where it all ends…

I feel bad about the baby. What do you think?

I do not refuse my child, I will give him money, and I will see and communicate with my daughter. Is it normal for my daughter to grow up without a father? Or is it better than having a son without a father or having a full family but with such an indifferent relationship….

How do girls feel about guys/men who have a child from their first marriage?

I’m not going to tell every woman I meet about this, but in case a serious relationship develops…..

Read also our article: Private Investigator for Cheating Spouse